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Part 4: From Spain to the West of Ireland: A Journey of Artistic Rediscovery

After completing my photography studies, I found myself at a crossroads. The experience of the competitive and patriarchal nature of photo journalism plus having rebuffed an opportunity to work in a prestigious photographic studio in Dublin, had all left me feeling a little at sea, frightened, disenchanted and cold. Despite having good opportunities, I realised I lacked the inclination to navigate these highly competitive environments. Instead, I found myself drifting with a lot of yearning but with out a clear plan. This drift led me to Spain with my then-boyfriend, who did have a kind of a plan for his own career at the time, in Spain. A decision that was to profoundly shape my artistic journey. Thus, I began to learn Spanish and study for a TEFL teaching certificate in the Dublin Language Institute, after which I gained a little teaching experience, all in preparation for my next chapter of self discovery.

A sad painting of a woman crying while kissing a man - Amanda Coen - Parade Handmade
A sad painting of a woman crying while kissing a man - Amanda Coen 

Overcoming Challenges

In Barcelona, bolstered by my TEFL qualification and previous language learning skills, I began teaching English and German both in a local language school preparing teenagers and adults for Cambridge English exams and privately to children who for some reason or other couldn't quite get to grips with English in school, but who passed their exams on the double with a little private tuition. While teaching was rewarding, it left me feeling confined and unfulfilled. Afterall, it was really just a stopgap. I longed for something that truly spoke to my creative spirit. that I wanted develop wholeheartedly not just an intermediate job, again.

 

Rediscovering Passion and Solo Exhibitions

On some free mornings, I wandered the quiet streets of the Barcelona suburbs visiting small galleries and local exhibitions. These excursions rekindled my passion for art and unearthed some possibilities for me. I was aware of a deep feeling that I was on the right trail. It spurred me to start painting again. I just took off. and couldn't stop. I began to sketch paint with a fervour that surprised even me. My family and friends thought I had gone totally mad, rediscovering passion indeed, art passion, especially because some of my work was rubbish, but I knew I had found something that truly resonated with me.

With a lot of support, I managed to put together a body of work in oils on canvas and held my first solo exhibition in a small bar off Carretera De Sants called 'Truitas', paid for with an original painting chosen by the owner. This was followed by a larger show in a cultural bank space outside Barcelona and participation in a group exhibition for charity in Maremagnum for which I was honoured to be asked. Furthermore I actually received an offer for one painting which I reluctantly refused because although they offered me a good price at the time, I wasn't prepared to compromise at all. Again, in hindsight, given the situation, I regret not having taken the offer. I was very, very green then.
While I didn’t make an enormous splash in the Spanish art scene, these experiences were deeply affirming. Although, I wasn't making nearly enough money to support myself and contribute properly, it provided me with the confidense to pursue my passion more seriously. I needed to go back to Ireland where I felt freedom again. Being in the city has always stiffled me. I could't stay another minute away from the green grass, the rain, the wind. and the peace and quiet. I left the beautiful homely Barcelona appartment but I certainly wasn't returning to Dublin. At least not for long.

 The Brochure for a Solo Exhibition in a Cultural Hall of Caixa Penedes near Barcelona years ago - Amanda Coen - Parade Handmade

Brochure for my solo exhibition in a Caixa Penedes bank cultural hall, in the outskirts of Barcelona years ago - Amanda Coen

Returning to Ireland after three years, hoping to sustain my artistic momentum, I sought solace in the west of Ireland, where I lived as a child for a short while. I continued to paint and exhibit in various Westport shops and galleries, mounted a solo exhibition, organised a few for friends, was invited to grace the walls of a new cafe with my work and gradually developed by taking commissions and making bigger and better sales.

Early art medley of pieces from the past by Amanda Coen - Parade Handmade
Early art medley of pieces from the past by Amanda Coen

Art Passion Versus Earning Capacity

Sadly the income flow was insufficient to stand on it's own, and I very reluctantly took a job at Carraig Donn department store. Although the job offered creative opportunities such as merchandising, foreign buying trips, fashion show involvment and there were job development offers and other incentives, all of which were great, it ultimately drained me. The relentless routine and constant public interaction wore me down, as did constantly being on my feet and having to deal with other work related issues. Most of all, the feeling of sinking deeper and deeper became almost unbareable. I was really ill at ease now. I began to suffer a lot of severe back strain and bouts of burn out from which I felt I couldn't escape. I resolved to make the tough decision to leave that job, for once and for all.

Early days with Lapanda Designs jewellery at craft fairs - Parade Handmade
Early days with Lapanda Designs jewellery at craft fairs - Amanda Coen


The subsequent pivot and decision to start a craft business was a practical step that allowed me to maintain my creative spirit and autonomy. It provided me with the framework and the much needed headspace to develop creatively and wholeheartedly. This was the beginning of a long journey and the birth of Lapanda Designs in 2007, crafting jewellery and selling my designs at local markets and craft fairs, the length and breath of the country. And so I took a big breath with another lunge forwards with renewed energy and hope..

Have you ever felt trapped in a cycle, a routine or even a life that wasn’t yours? How did you find your way back to your passion? Share your stories in the comments below.


If you think you would be interested in my more art chronicles and painting projects exclusively in the future, you'd be very welcome to sign up for my Amanda Coen Art email list. I will share weekly (or so) emails, with updates of current work, insights, anecdotes and more.
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Keep smiling until next time, Amanda

 


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2 comments

  • Hi Nuala, that is so true. It’s good in many ways. It’s comforting to know that there is always new and interesting things to discover about yourself and the world. Sometimes we might feel we’ve seen it all and have that ennui thing going on but we really never know what’s going to come to light or happen once we’re present and willing to keep searching. Being an artist is such a broad thing. It’s hard to see where it starts and ends. Life is so nuanced and layered that it’s hard to find that Holy Grail you speak of. Perhaps the authenticity comes with the struggle..

    Amanda

  • I can’t wait to read the next episode, Amanda.
    I sometimes feel we are all constantly on a pilgrimage to find the Holy Grail that is our authentic self, especially as an artist.

    Nuala King

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